e2b - how i will have become entrepreneur

When I started this blog I set off to create a full story of my entrepreneurial struggle. I have been working on it mostly implicitly by writing out my thoughts and keeping up book reviews with what I read. I feel though that an explicit update is needed every now and then, so here is one that explains my current whereabouts.

After having been through a billion ideas and finished none, I decided to jump into ONE thing ONLY and pull it off till the end. My choice was Snartle.com, the language learning site since I trust my guts and feel like my theory of how a mind is able to suck new information will be right. In addition, the market is growing like crazy. Livemocha (got 2mln funding I believe) and SpanishPod both made the Times the other day, and I think neither is really good or with much innovation in methodoly of learning. They just are there and in such market whoever is there makes it (apparently really well too).

But I mentioned how I have been struggling between looking for funding and making it myself. We finally settled for funding, and no surprise - it feels like we chose wrong. On the other side, I am pretty sure it would have felt the same way if we went with building it. So funding is planned through winning the the Merrill Lynch competition and if we don’t win it (which I feel we have decent chances) I will be totally lost. If I then decide to build it, I would have gone BOTH paths to reach the target. Why didn’t I just tried making it off the beginning? My guilty consciousness will chase me for a long time. Though if we do win the 60,000 from Zicklin, then…..then there’s going to be more posts.But for now, got no product - just a business plan ‘in construction’.

So far so OK. I feel like I am on the right track and I push. Before I know it though, I am filling a new YC application - this time it was supposed to be just a joke. As a project, we decided to use our first launch (for five years!) - a blog. A blog we launched for all this time! It was a music blog and it felt good to put some of our favorite music online and listen to it and share with friends. Turns out Alek was serious about the YC app, which he filled quite diligently, and that he has serious plans about it. I realize now our music blog was the beginning of a new startup, which we will be launching in … 2 weeks?!@# How da hell did I get involved in another startup again?! Our blog, you can find at thefeelgood.com. It has got some good music today, and stay tuned for the startup launch.

Meanwhile more ideas keep coming to me (yes, they will all end up here). One of them seems to be stuck with me for some time. I haven’t shared it online because I believe I may decide to do in the near future when I have resources.

Actually resources is what I really wanted to talk about. I have no job. Ever since I decided to work on ONE thing I have been trying not do anything but work on the startup, which meant absolutely no wasting time on crappy external jobs. Now though I am running out of money and this drives me nuts. My budget has thinned out to mere $100/mo that I can live on besides my fixed costs of another $200 (subway, cell, credit card). I am basically surviving on $400/mo in New York and this is crazy. What is crazier is that soon the last few hundred bucks that I have will run out. I have to take a job but what I can do is apply at my school for a job under $10/h which is just a waste of life, or I can work some side projects as a freelancer. I used to make Flash sites like this one, but now I think that connection soured up. It’s nuts to think how people that work the crappiest jobs have more money than me. It’s a psychological breakdown. I may have to crack open and take a job or I will starve. ‘Die’ is probably the right word here, since I am already starving.

I already talked about the Up’s and Down’s of the roller coaster and here is another wonderful example of a down. It is quite a down this time - deeeeep and loooong. I am miserable and I am barely surviving. And it seems like it will keep going worse. If it wasn’t for the possible upsides that I see in a few months from now, I would have given up. But that insane feeling that “I am almost done” with something and soon “it will pay off” is just not going away, and drags me down, and down, and down.

Let me mention some more just for a little color. My wisdom tooth is growing - as to be taken out some time soon and yes, you guessed it - I can’t pay for it. My stomach pains me. Hmm..yes, I should be eating better food. But what better food when I am eating anything I can find? I just cut my hair on my own, since I have to otherwise pay 15 bucks, with which I can eat at least 3 times. I have never had such attitude towards money saving but times change and when you don’t have money, elasticity can get practically to zero;

Damn that UP should be right around the corner because I am in B I G trouble…

I have always wanted to draw a parallel between a computer game and life/entrepreneurship. Here comes it:

I have been playing the awesomest game - Portal (trailer here) for some time - it’s a mind-bending first-person action-puzzle game. The challenge levels require some serious thought and flawless execution. The game kept reminding me of two very important things:

I. PUSHING LIMITS - as you complete any benchmark the bar is raised usually twice as high. This forces the following pattern of thinking:
(1) “This is impossible!” - after you just did your best to barely finish the level within 40 steps, you are now required to do same in 20! Hell it’s impossible!
(2) “This game has been tested this must be possible…”
(3) “What can be done?” - now starts the real thinking! Can you skip some parts of he whole puzzle? If not, can you execute them in a more efficient way? etc..
Every time you think you have reached the top this game reminds you, “No way buddy, not even half way!” stThen you keep climbing until you solve it. We don’t do this in real life. Most of the times we don’t push at all…

II. GIVING UP — in portal it is considerably easy to complete a challenge for one particular reason: every time you get to (1) , you immediately realize that (2) therefore you really don’t have problem (1). However in real life, when get stuck somewhere no one comes to tell you that what you think is actually impossible. It’s actually very unfortunate because as soon as people come against a problem that looks like impossible, they give up. It seems to me that the solution is to ask yourself, “Is there a chance that anyone can ever solve this problem in any way?” If the answer to this is NO then move on quickly to the next thing, but if the answer is yes, then you might want to consider if it’s worth trying to find the solution…

The secrets and experience of 5 successful entrepreneurs. Worth every second. Found it on Guy Kawasaki’s blog post. It is a MUST SEE.

1h40m

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-547…

James Hong is awesome!

It seems that every time you build a product that has some level of innovation or daring vision, you get to discover things you never could imagine.

While I still haven’t tested this with web products, I made myself a gorgeous 5 bulb lamp that is sliding on strings stretched across the length of my room. It’s got a dimmer and a remote control for it. Here is how it looks.

It’s awesome, and it completely satisfies my light desires during day and night. But I want to share one observation that popped up - this lamp is now 16 months old and I haven’t had to change 1 bulb ever since it was made.

Have you ever sat in a room and suddenly a bulb goes…BANG! Nope. Bulbs just don’t like that. They emits light by running electricity through its thin filaments. Those filaments wear away after a while, and one day, when you switch the light with a click, the bulb explodes. This is because of the sharp influx of electricity that floods it when you switch the light. My lamp has a dimmer instead of an ON/OFF switch and this dimmer doesn’t have the option of switching ON instantaneously. That keeps the bulbs away.

Another reason, as stated on wikipedia is that 5% reduction in voltage more than doubles the life of a bulb.

Whatever the reason my bulbs are alive, there is no reason why people should be using regular switches instead of dimmers that will make their lives more comfortable, spare bulbs, and save electricity.

USE DIMMERS!

It’s the end of August and I am back to college. This marks the official end of summer of 2007. Here’s what I managed to do and not do:

Summer ‘07 achievements:
- I am finally on the track to doing what I like. I started coding on my startup. I made decent progress for 3 weeks, considering how many things I had to learn. It is also the first idea that I have actually started building, so that has its significance too.
- I made some Flash sites and accordingly some money that I can use for school.
- I took the CLEP marketing test from CollegeBoard. I saved $1200 and 1 semester time for not taking the class at college.
- Took a summer class in Econometrics. Got A. It was important to pass, since it is a prerequisite to any other class that I have left on my senior schedule.
- I got in the habit of reading books. I read a bunch of decent ones. Reviews of some can be found on this blog.
Not bad for summer. I also had some fun:
- I did manage to go home for 10 days. Haven’t been in Bulgaria summertime for 3, maybe 4 years, so this was great. I saw most of my important friends. Quality experience. I had a good amount of family time too.
- I did go to a wonderfully relaxing 1 week vacation to Costa Rica with my American family. Big nice house, amazing weather, lots of sleep, decent amount of reading, soccer with locals, delicious food served 3 times a day in the house, warm ocean (warm ocean, hear that!) swimming/surfing.

Summer ‘07 flops:
- I thought I might be able to finish my prototype for the startup. It is number one priority and is coming soon I promise.
- I didn’t manage to convince Baruch College that I don’t need Tier III for my degree, and I would rather take CIS minor than one that satisfies this Tier III. Baruch didn’t think so. I have to be like everybody else. 7 different offices were quite united around this issue. Was angry but after all, “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig” by Robert Heinlein. Taking psychology with some cool brain/thinking classes. It’s also somewhat connected to my startup so it’s acceptable.
- I didn’t make really a lot of friends. Maybe because I am too busy and introverted currently. Maybe because people are in general very in a hurry in NYC. I dunno. Want to be my friend? Now accepting…

I have been thinking about procrastination lately. I have one specific task to complete and I have been reluctant to doing it. I have to call and beg the USPS office to give me money back for the lost package. Blah…

Among other things in Wikipedia.org I found, “It is often cited by psychologists as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety[that is not too far from fear] associated with starting or completing any task or decision”

Coping with anxiety is well said. It is exactly what we do, which is much different from coping with the problem. Since the problem stays intact, the anxiety we are “coping” with will not disappear. As a matter of fact it will grow and it will bother the hell out of us. Few nights ago we talked with Ilian about discounting. Just like discounting cash from future to present, when you are procrastinating you are discounting the future anxiety to today. In other words, you prefer to leave it for later at the price of increased anxiety (especially if you have a deadline). Quite an investment I would say.

Well, we kind of know that much. But here is a problem I want to point out and make very clear and visible. I will use Gantt Chart to illustrate it. This is how your normal week may look. You may have 1 or 2 tasks procrastinated but generally things get done:

I am going to hyperbolize [I love new words] this situation a bit but this could happen and does happen sometimes:

When you look at chart No.2 you obviously see that there are plenty tasks none of which are moving. From wiki, “For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of productivity, the creation of crisis, and the chagrin of others for not fulfilling one’s responsibilities or commitments.” The trouble here is that we have not one of those causes but MANY! Procrastinated tasks sit tightly in the person’s subconsciousness, socialize and drink beer steadily. As a result you start feeling unable to cope with life and you get a feeling of worthlessness. Add a pinch of girlfriend breakup, startup going slow, and toenail fungus in the equation and you get a genuine depression.

My point here is that it is important to recognize when depression is caused by procrastination. All you have to do is man up a little, get your fuck*** ass [don't you love my censoring?] off the couch and work your tasks out one by one. You are going to have a lot of those moments with startups, so better learn to deal with it.

I am one of those people that can starve for a long time if no food that I am in the mood for is around. However, for the last 6 months probably I have been starving for another reason - I am too busy or too tired to get food. The result is that I have long term problems with stomach and need serious treatment. Unfortunately, stomach pains are not the only problems. All kinds of health issues are emerging now (a lot of them probably caused by lack of good nutrition).

So now I am sitting all in pain and worn out, “Health can definitely be a measure of your ambition and obsession!” Yup. I figured that out. But then if you really want to be successful, you have to take care of yourself too, which means that to maintain GOOD health is an even higher level of ambition and dedication. This doesn’t meant you have to get through the ’sick’ phase so you can reach the top. On the contrary - you can easily avoid it, which is why I am writing that post: spend extra energy and money to eat good quality food and to eat it regularly. Believe me it’s worth it in the long term.